A letter for Kalia from Mommy

Dear Kalia,

You're not quite 5 months old, so even though I tell you stuff like this all of the time, it just goes in one ear and out the other.  Well, not entirely...I know you know that I love you, but I think that's largely by my actions, not necessarily my words.

I just want to tell you how happy you make me.  In a world full of constant stress, drama, and change, you are a constant happiness.  Every single day you make me laugh.  Every single day you make me smile.  Every single day I'm grateful and thankful that you chose your Daddy and I as parents.

I look at those dimples and all of the worries in the world just disappear.  I try to see the world through your eyes.  You're so curious and delight so easily at the smallest things.  Things that were easy to overlook before.  The way the trees dance in the wind, the beauty in their leaves against the bright blue sky.  A simple smile from your Daddy or I can have you grinning from ear to ear.  The world would be a better place if we all looked at it that way.  If a simple smile from someone you love could make you estatic.

You love to make us laugh.  Your laughter does that automatically.  You'll laugh at something, and then we'll start laughing, and then you'll laugh because we're laughing and we'll keep laughing because you're laughing.  Those moments are the absolute best.  They're moments and memories I will forever cherish.

You're not quite 5 months old, and I can't imagine our lives without you.  You make every day better, you make every day brighter, and you made me fall in love with your Daddy so much more.  I didn't know there was something missing before you...I didn't know that my life could be this much fuller, happier...better.  I thought we had it all beforehand.  I was so wrong.  I was missing so much.

You've taught me patience, compassion, how to love fully and openly, and how to take joy in life's simple pleasures.  I know this journey we're on will not always be this easy.  You won't always forgive me when I upset you by me singing to you "the itsy bitsy spider".  I know I won't always be able to calm you by singing "you are my sunshine".  You won't always think it's hilarious when I play the kissy monster with you, and you won't always be content sitting in my lap or laying on the floor, side by side, while I read to you.  I won't always be able to rock you to sleep when you're having a hard time going to dream land on your own.  You won't always think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread either.  I know these things...they're always there in the back of my mind telling me to hold onto and cherish today because tomorrow is a whole new ball game.

One day I'll wake up and you will have outgrown so much of this.  But that's okay...I'll come up with different ways to bond with you, make you happy, and show you how much I love you.  One thing I'm sure of, even if it's the only thing so far with parenthood that I am sure of, you will never outgrow my love.  You will never stop needing me, and I will never stop being there for you.

I love you so much more than I think you'll ever truly know.

Love always and forever,
Mommy